Imperfectly perfect

We are all human and unique and flawed in our own special way, and I’m sure I’m not alone in saying that there are some things about myself that I do not like. I knew in my head God doesn't make mistakes, but still, for 21 years, I’ve really struggled with a major personality thing that God’s given me. I’m one of those people who gets very attached to people very quickly, I really struggle with goodbyes, once you’re in my life I will always be there for you and you will always be in my heart. Which doesn’t actually sound like a bad thing, but I’ve hated it because it means I get so hurt so easily, even if it’s unintentional. I wished I cared less or could just move on from different seasons easily - I was devastated even changing teachers for the first few years of school before I was homeschooled!

But recently, after figuring out my spiritual gifts, and understanding a little more about how God made me and what my purpose is through doing regen, I’ve discovered 2 key things that have completely changed the way I view this part of myself.

Firstly, as a lot of you know I’m currently studying Public health, and ever since I was little I just wanted to do a job that helped people who needed it the most. I am loving what I am learning and even though I don’t know exactly what my career journey is going to look like, where I most want to work is in a non-profit global health company as soon as I have enough experience. But even already in just studying it, I’ve noticed in myself how passionate I get about the injustices of the systems, how prevalent different diseases are, and the devastation that ill health has on the world, and realized that in order to do this career that I really feel God has and is leading me into, I need a big heart to not just care but actually do something about it. I’ve always seen my heart as a ‘curse’ or at the very most, just a side thing about me that helps me be a good friend. But it’s actually a core tool and gift from God to equip me to carry out the purposes He has for me.

The second thing is that with all traits, there are strengths and weaknesses. Sometimes they benefit you, sometimes they benefit others and sometimes they benefit everyone. The strengths are great and it’s really important to use that not just for yourself, but to serve God and benefit others. But it’s also really important to not hate the weakness that comes with it. I honestly have to be so careful about guarding my thoughts because I can get so overwhelmed with how much I feel and I’ve asked God so many times why He made me the way He did and why couldn’t He make me feel less, wishing that part could just go away. But, those moments of where the ‘weakness’ part is causing me pain, give opportunity for God to meet me exactly where I’m at and fill me up with more of Him. It’s an opportunity for God to meet my needs, come through for me, strengthen me, fill me with peace and comfort and to be my Rock. It’s forced me to see how even though the world is a mess, and there are many things out there that hurt us, God is my Rock and He is so faithful no matter how I feel. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 says ‘And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.’

So if I can encourage you with 1 thing, it would be to not write off ANY part of you. There is purpose in every single detail of you because you have been so intricately designed especially for your purpose. And whether it’s something you didn’t even realize you needed, or just an opportunity to become more dependent on our Heavenly Father, embrace being imperfectly perfect!