It has been 6 weeks since I married my prince Jacob. Life has obviously changed a LOT, in the very best way, but as with all new changes, new challenges and “lessons to learn” have arisen. Settling into our new place and into married life has been even sweeter and more special than I could have possibly imagined. As much as I tried very hard to not set too high expectations in my preparations, there were some things I was expecting to be challenging – like planning and cooking food every single day and adjusting to sleeping with someone else in my bed... and some things I expected to be easy – like scheduling when I was going to do cleaning/washing etc around my work and social schedule. Surprisingly, with the help of my super cute meal planner/shopping list diary, cooking has been way easier than I expected and I’m actually learning to love choosing what to eat each week and being all prepared and having my freezer stocked with back up easy to pull together meals. What has been challenging is a new struggle with pride, and feeling pressure to have a nice, clean home and cook nutritious meals. The first couple of weeks being home after our honeymoon, I was absolutely exhausted trying to do everything all at once and was so nervous about people coming over. But at the same time, I wanted everything to be perfect and to prove to myself and to others that I was capable of setting up a lovely, welcoming home. I have never been particularly interested in being a ‘domestic goddess’ as is our running joke at home, but it was a subconscious, almost instantaneous change that as soon as I became a wife, I felt my responsibility and a way I can love and serve my husband, is to have a perfect home. Add on some big house projects like painting the entire house, and you have a very long to-do list of pressures!! What I am learning, is that it is a LEARNING process. I don’t have to have my home in perfect condition every day, there is grace for busy days, and there are priorities like spending time with God and with my husband that override a little extra cleaning. It is still important to take care in how we run our home – how we plan and budget our food and ensuring that the house feels warm and welcoming. But when that care turns to pride and pressure, that becomes unhealthy and unsustainable. My darling other half has been amazing at helping and doing so much around the home too, and now after a month of being here, I feel like we are now starting to settle into a more sustainable routine. Another thing I am learning is I have had to be so mindful to take comparison thoughts captive. We are in quite a small place, which does have a cute, cosy feel and is perfect for where we’re at, but going to other people’s homes or even moving from my lovely big family home, has caused moments of discontentment and impatience to be in a bigger home. There are so many things I am looking forward to as we continue to build our life and family, and it's good to have goals and dreams to work towards, but God has got us in this season, and has blessed us enormously by providing this house for us right now. We need to run our "own race" trying our very best to keep God first and follow His lead for every step. That journey looks different for every family so all we need to focus on is being faithful to, and grateful for the journey, and God’s timing and plans He has for us. Something I am learning to accept, is that it’s okay to be weak. I have this saying that I have told my mother maaaaannnyy times that “sleep is for the weak” but when my days are so full and my brain is so switched on all the time, I am appreciating how helpful a little extra sleep can be! Also, in the short amount of time we’ve been married, we’ve both had particularly tiring or stressful days where the other has picked up the slack, and as much my “strong independent woman” self has taken a hit a couple of times to accept help with tasks that I feel like are my responsibility, it is such a blessing to be part of a team that is working together for the same goals and to have someone I can rely on. I love trying to find ways that I can go out of my way to bless Jacob and help him, so I have to allow him the same joy to bless and help me too. Obviously I am sooo new to this thing called marriage and there are many other things that God will continue to show me and teach me, but here are just a few of the main things that have come to mind so far! Hope this encourages you, no matter what season you are in!
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